Transmission #2a (No Sleep)

Sanctuary of Sleep

An imagined clock ticks to guide the symphony of crickets outside.

A steady stream of cars driving by in practiced manner like a parade joins them.

The riot in my mind crescendos as the thoughts scream and bounce against the walls.

There will be no sleep again and so I ask them to form a line and wait their turn.

Anything is better than wakefulness in the void.

I try not to look at my phone as I deal with my fear of inadequacy and the growling from my stomach.

It is 11:57

I am then greeted by repressed memories that only wish to be acknowledged

I do so and try to move on.

Today's regrets return as well, and yes I know I fucked up, yes I will be here tomorrow too.

It is 12:42

I take a pause and wonder how many beers I would need to quell the voices.

"Too many beers," I say outloud to the symphony of the night.

Against better judgement I look at my phone.

It is 1:20

It's not all so bad though, there's are good thoughts too.

A delicious meal, a wild moment, a loving hand on my forearm, a warm smile to fall back to.

Downstairs my dog's collar jangles. He is deep in slumber, and I hope, dreaming.

It is 2:13

~~~~~

Three Days on Four Hours

This is an unfinished poem.
I wrote it when I couldn't sleep.
I haven't finished it because I still can't sleep.
I really wish I could,
Finish the poem and find sleep.
Oh well.